Grass Is Not Always Greener

Perhaps one of the oldest proverbs we learn in life.

Of course initially it had to be explained to me.  When I was very young and heard this statement, my brain processed it literally.  Oh well, thank God for gaining wisdom and understanding.

The new year of 2014 arrived and I found myself reflecting.  The start of a new year seems to have this effect on me - assess where I am, where am I going, what do I want, am I doing what I want to be doing, am I doing what I SHOULD be doing?  I am getting off track here, but perhaps another blog at another time.

And with the new year, at work we are in the midst of those wonderful annual evaluations.  A friend of mine recently had to search for another job.  At our age undertaking a job search is something that can be so overwhelming and humbling.  For one thing, the potential interviewer might be someone young enough to be our grandchild.

Nevertheless she stepped out there and got a position.  Made me very proud, gave be encouragement.

Guess who decided to test the waters?

I dusted off the resume and updated it and put it out there for the public to see.  I received quite a number of contacts.  I was flattered.  I interviewed.  I met for coffee.

Once I returned to work from those interviews, I realized how thankful I was for my current job.  And to top it all off, my annual evaluation led to a promotion for me!!  Total surprise.

We as humans should seek to stretch ourselves and to grow and to step out on faith.  At the same time we should be mindful of the Creator's plan for our lives.  And to learn our destiny we should constantly and continuously ask for that plan to be revealed.  Don't sit and wait though, keep moving forward.  Your steps will be ordered.  Listen to that still small voice because that is your questions being answered.

Perhaps you are to remain on the side of the fence that you are on currently.  Going through the interviews and meeting for coffee helped me gain perspective of the 'grass' of my current position.  And at the end of the day, my job is and pretty much always has been just perfect for me.  And I reached this thought prior to the promotion!! It came five days later.

I honestly believe that where I am currently in life right now is where I am to be.

Perspective applies to more than just the job, of course.  Take a step back and look at other areas of your life that you might be questioning - am I in the right relationship?  Am I pursuing the right course of study?  Am I making the right decisions in how I handle my finances?  Most importantly do not compare your situations to someone else's situations.  Be willing to objectively view areas of your life with both a positive and negative eye.  Most of all ask the Creator for guidance and be patient with yourself and the process.  The answers will be revealed, trust me.

And each day I continue to ask for wisdom,.  Each day I ask for my life's plan to be revealed.  Each day I ask for my steps to be ordered.  Each day I ask for patience.

And each day I keep my ears open for that still small voice.

Out of the Office

He died.

How could he do that to us? To me?

We were diagnosed about the same time, give or take a day or two, the week before Christmas 2012.  I received the news I had breast cancer.  He received the news he had lymphoma.

And off we went on our separate paths - me to surgery, surgery, surgery (yes three of them).  He was off to chemo and radiation.

And next I hear, he is back to work!!  I was so happy for him.  Meanwhile I undergo my chemo and radiation.

So mid-July 2013 - we're both finished and in the office.  We share stories, we smile, we laugh.  Yet all the while we both know, and without saying it out loud, we both know that we feel this same thought: if we got 'it' once, will it return?  No guarantees were given that we would not.   We were bit once, we could be bitten again.  No, we never said this out loud.  What you say can come to fruition you know.  Our words have SO MUCH power.

I continued to receive positive reports.

He asked me how I got through this?  He then pointed at my cross around my neck, and he said I guess you have your faith.  I said most definitely I do believe I am healed and restored.  He stammered, I suppose looking for words, to let me know that he just never developed 'faith'; but 'my kids have'.  I told him that is wonderful.

I received even more positive news.

He did not.

He continued to come into the office, he continued to share.  My sixth sense, my female intuition, I don't know what to call it.  I somehow knew his cancer had returned.  And sure enough he announced it to us, that he would be undergoing a radical treatment, including stem cell surgery, once his body was rid of some nagging enemy that caused his blood to just never be 'right'.  And he said he potentially would be out of the office for six months.

He sat two TWO cubicles away from me.

As he shared his news, I prayed.  The day came when he was to go into the hospital and he wished me well, wished me happy holidays (this was before Thanksgiving).  That sixth sense feeling returned; I prayed.  I honestly felt that he was feeling he would not be healed.  Just something in the way he looked, his eyes were empty except for a glimpse of pain or sadness or both.

The radical treatments never came, his body just never cooperated.

He's out of the office.

He died.